Currently Crushing On


Life Update

Last week I posted a message on Instagram about my daughter, a daughter that unless you know me personally you won't have known exists. I don't usually post about her directly, I don't put pictures of her on non-private accounts and I mention her only fleetingly in my blogs. But on this occasion I needed people to know what was going on in my life in the quickest and easiest way possible when she was rushed to hospital. Why I wasn't attending the events I had promised to capture on Snapchat, why I wasn't taking part in the shoots I had committed to and why I wasn't writing the blog posts I had planned for the brands I'm working with

Why did I feel like I owed anyone an explanation? 

In the past "followers" have been just that, voyeuristic strangers with a healthy curiosity or a twisted grudge. But somewhere along the way that changed. These days "followers" of my blog and social media channels are more like friends to me. I've spoken on my YouTube about how engaged and positive people are on my page and this applies to how I interact with the same people in return.  We have a dialogue, we wish each other happy birthday. We tip each other off about the latest sale bargain and commiserate each other on a loss whether that be heart emoji for a lost lipstick or a private message of condolence and support for a death in the family. In the past I might have continued to post the odd tumblr photo or pretend an old outfit shot had been taken that day but I don't feel like I need to do that anymore. I don't need to deceive people and pretend my life is one big happy photo opportunity when I have difficulties to deal with just like everyone else 

To me, social media is so much more than its more baser uses: snooping, bitching, comparisons and vendettas. Working in social media has allowed me to appreciate the more positive side of the digital world and the more positive, creative crowd that utilize it

In my case, the start of my own blog and my journey though an "unviable" pregnancy coincided. My blog and the amazing people I met through it distracted me from my heartbreaking situation and kept my spirits from dropping. But even when my daughter was born and against all odds, survived, her battle wasn't over. Blog posts didn't stop being written from the side of a Neonatal incubator or an intensive care bed or a hospital cot and I don't think they ever will be. Isabelle's condition is life-long, life-threatening and ultimately life-limiting. Which is why I am talking about it now. As much as I can build a career in blogging, writing and media around her complex needs there are going to be times when I have to drop everything to be with her. Times like this weekend

The balance between privacy and openness in my chosen career path is still something I'm exploring, one day I'll find a solution that sits comfortably. Where I'm able to maintain my privacy and hers without the need for deceit or deception, there's enough of that in the world. For now this post is really about saying thank you to all the brands, my fellow bloggers and "followers" who support me both professionally and personally 

From me and from Isabelle 

1 comment:

  1. Sending my best wishes to you and your Beautiful daughter such a touching post xxxxxxx


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