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Why the F**k do I have zits?

My teenage years were not fun. We've already established that I had no friends and was basically a massive loser but on top of that I also had horrendous spotty skin... I know right? Give the kid a break! As an adult my skin is a lot less volcanic, however like many others I still suffer from the odd outbreak. Usually this coincides with some major social event or photographic opportunity and these breakouts are definitely something which me and my friends all despair of. So whats to blame for these flare ups? Here is my list of culprits and how to deal with them when they pop up and try to ruin your face and life

Your Diet

Did you eat 3 flapjacks and a twix for breakfast again? Is this your fourth dominoes this week? Guess what? All that fat and sugar isn't going to help your skin. Try cutting down and introducing some fresh fruit and vegetables into your diet, your skin and your arteries will thank you for it. Those of you lucky enough to have a fast metabolism may still wear the effects of your junk food lifestyle on your face

Your Hydration Levels

Healthy skin is hydrated skin. Skin rejuvenation is reliant upon hydration so if you aren't drinking enough water that's a good place to start. My new favourite thing is cups of boiling water with slices of lemon in, I'll have about six of these a day instead of coffee and have seen a dramatic clearing of my skin as a result. If it's 6pm and all you've had to drink today is an espresso and a cuppa soup then maybe the solution to your skin woes is easier solved then you think? And sorry but no, wine doesn't count 

UV Rays

Also guess what? Sunbeds are bad for your skin! I know right? You wouldn't think it from the amount of time my dim-wit generation spends on them. YES Vitamin D is good but NO malignant melanoma is bad. Avoid sunbeds and always wear an SPF on your face. You think you have problems now with the odd spot or two? Well how about when you're 40 and your face resembles an old leather handbag? 

Your Hormones

I always know when Mother Nature is on her way with her monthly "gift" because my lower chin starts to resemble a Margarita Pizza. When this happens I tend to just plow on with my routines, vowing desperately not to pick, scratch or squeeze. Slathering your face in chemicals at this stage is largely a false economy, when I can pinpoint a flare up to hormonal reasons my new policy is to leave well alone and crack out the concealer

You got bad Karma

If you've done all of the above and you're still getting zits then what can I tell you? 
Maybe Karma is fucking with you and your T-zone? Did you speed over a zebra crossing almost giving an OAP a heart attack? Did you take back a dress you wore on a night out pretending it just didn't fit? Did you eat someone else's chocolate eclair and then feign ignorance? I don't know who is reading this, maybe you deserve that big ole Mount Vesuvius pimple between the eyes?

Skin Faux Pas
Here are some major skin faux pas which I would urge you all to avoid if you hope to maintain a glowing complexion

Going to bed with make up on 

You might look cute in your late night snapchats but your skin won't thank you. We've all had the odd (Tequila fueled) burn out and woken up looking like Krusty the Clown but deliberately not wiping that gunk off is a major no no

Millydaydreams Quotes

Make up wipes

I used make-up wipes for years and years and could never work out why I had problem skin. Turns out these little rags of lies were the culprits. Don't get me wrong I still use them to remove make-up but believing that a tiny cloth soaked in cleanser is your one-stop-shop to riding your skin of a full days impurities, whilst providing all of your skins toning, moisture and nutritional needs is like believing in the bloody tooth fairy

Spending a shit tonne of money

You don't need to take out a second mortgage to rid yourself of spots. You just need to educate yourself, firstly about which specific skin type you have and secondly about the active ingredients required to combat the specific problems you are encountering. Brands are cashing in our insecurities, don't buy the brand buy the ingredients. I cannot recommend the book "Pretty Honest" by Sali Hughes enough, as well as being an all round beauty lovers Bible it also details specific skin concerns and the best products to combat them

My Bedtime Skincare Routine

My bedtime routine has changed drastically over the years. Instead of rolling in at 3am and passing out on my face in the hallway covered in glitter, these days I tend to have a much more thought out and frankly normal bedtime wind down. Usually I remove my make-up using wipes, not the pound shop ones, not baby wipes (Do people really use these on thier face!?) just a nice perfume free cleansing wipe. After I've done that I'll use a couple of Cotton pads soaked in Micellar water to rid myself of any other lurking bits of foundation before moving on to a "Cold Cream" cream cleanser to make extra sure - Yes, I am one of those smug double-cleanse bitches. Then I generally smother my face in an intense moisturiser, make the most of nighttime moisturisers as they get a lovely long time to sit on your skin plumping it all up and hydrating it. Also don't believe the sh*t old wives tail about not using moisturiser on greasy skin, we all need hydration so as long as you aren't smearing on Lurpack I can assure you you'll be fine. I also use an under eye serum to combat puffiness and dark circles because I have a 10 month old child who likes to wake me up at 6am every single day... even on sundays... Oh and I more or less just do all of this backwards when I wake up, before shoveling on the slap like I'm a contestent on Ru Pauls Drag Race

My recommended products:

The Body Shop Seaweed Ionic Clay Mask 

 I use this three times a week to combat blackheads, purify my skin and control excess oil. It's leaves my skin feeling super soft and squeaky clean

Boots Cold Cream 

I use this after Micellar water to ensure my skin is properly cleansed before applying moisturiser. Its nourishing, smells beautiful and is an absolute bargainwho says money can't buy happiness? Cus I'm pretty happy when I don't have zits

Benefit "Puff Off"
This is a recent discovery of mine and like... how... did... it? A nocturnal baby and wriggly fiance who talks in his sleep means I usually sport major circles but this stuff cleared them up within 2 hours and has kept them at bay ever since. It's little applicator is even shaped like an iron to "iron" out those creases, adorable

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