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The Ex Factor - How to deal with problematic Exes

I was recently asked to write a post about how to deal with difficult ex partners, in truth I was asked to write a post about "Psycho" Exes by someone being hounded by their boyfriends rather unstable previous partner. Whilst I wouldn't recommend slapping them I do have some other suggestions for dealing with these unbalanced individuals

We all have exes but some of us are unlucky enough to have "Psycho Exes" or "PE's." Whether its his ex, your ex or maybe they clubbed together to for some sort of psychotic ex-alliance? The kind of people who post those lame e-cards about "sharing their toys with the less fortunate," like no one is ever allowed to move on after a break up without them... M'kay

At best these people will pop up now again like annoying Mosquito's that require a good swatting. At worst they're 42 weeks deep in your Instagram feed looking for coded messages or turning up at your house in floods of tears reciting Keats and Byron

"My boyfriends Ex once launched herself at me in a club, screaming in my face, she was escorted out only to appear again seconds later challenging me to a fight before bottling it and flinging her drink at me before running off"

"My partners ex-girlfriend once followed me to the supermarket, tailed me round the aisles and then left without saying a word before writing on Facebook that we'd "had a massive run in"

"My Ex and my Partners EX started meeting up in an attempt to make us both jealous. Safe to say their genius plan didn't work and thier  "Showmance" quickly fizzled out"

"My partners Ex-girlfriend would regularly turn up at his flat declaring her undying love for him. He's so scared of her bunny-boiler ways that he even avoids social events that she attends for fear that she'll pull something similar in public"

"My fiances Ex had her best friend follow us both on Instagram and report back on our every move. She only eventually unfollowed us when we worked out the connection and both blocked her, I guess she must have been gutted that she couldn't play Mi5 any more"

"My Ex came round to see me following our break up and upon seeing my new partners car parked outside, proceeded to kick the wing mirrors off costing him over £300 to replace!"

"My boyfriends Ex just couldn't get over the fact that my boyfriend was bringing me as a guest to the wedding of a mutual friend. As she's a bridesmaid and he's a groomsman she's even specifically asked to paired with him in an attempt to win him back"

"My Ex just couldn't let me go when we split. I'd moved back to my parents house but woke up one morning to find him sitting next to my bed, staring at me and crying. I made him breakfast and called him a taxi home"

"My boyfriends Ex once rang my mobile pretending to be my boss at work, telling me I was fired. Only she forgot to withhold her number!"

"My Ex once vandalised her own car before reporting me to the police for having done it. Luckily her mum and dad dobbed her in and the charges were dropped"

"My fiances Ex must have regularly stalked my Instagram Account in order to find out that I was due to have a boob job. She then uploaded what she must have assumed was a very "raunchy" shot of her exposed breasts but which was actually highly inappropriate and misjudged. Even her own friends commented on how distasteful it was. A definite fail"

"I was once a Psycho Ex. I broke into my Ex-boyfriends house when he was out. I thought I'd wait until her came home to speak to him but I fell asleep and he was not at all pleased when he found me napping on his sofa"

Whilst these stories are funny the truth is that these "PE's" can really start to become a nuisance when innocent curiosity turns into dark obsession and their social media networks become a shrine to the past. So what should you do?

Curious Exes

It's always best to ignore these people as much as possible and hope that one day they will be able to  move forward with their lives. My advice would be to always maintain a level of silent sympathy for these people and simply ignore them for as long as their behavior remains non-invasive. Any acknowledgment of said behavior may well ignite their fragile mind-set causing their actions to escalate

Obsessed Exes

Again, sympathy needs to be used when dealing with these people and whatever has prevented them from moving on with their lives. Social media has made it easier for them to pry into your life or that of your new partner when they find their own unfulfilled. My suggestion would be  to ensure that they are blocked on all the social media platforms you use, as well as any of their friends whose motives may concern you

Psychotic Exes

Heartbreak can trigger a range of emotional and mental dysfunctions, some of which can be dangerous if not addressed and curtailed as soon as the transition is made into abusive behavior. In this situation you must never allow yourself to be bullied and you must never be afraid to stand up for yourself. A clear statement should be made signalling that you have noted their actions and wish them for them to desist. However once this is done you shouldn't need to address the issue any further as they will simply be receiving the reactional attention they crave


In conclusion. "PE's" are a royal pain in the ass but most of the time, when the obsession escalates the situation simply requires them firmly being put in their place. This jolt should trigger them to start questioning their own motives for delusion and hopefully begin to move on. The number one golden rule of these people is that they feed on attention and will thrive on ongoing drama, obsessing and talking about it for days in the dim hopes of gaining a reaction. So say your piece, pour yourself a glass of wine, laugh with your friends, cuddle up to your partner and let them burn themselves out

SAFETY NOTE: If an individual continues to pose a problem for you or your partner remember that Harassment is a criminal offence and do not be afraid to seek assistance from the Police

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